happy bday to my beautiful best friend liza
i am one or two margaritas deep but i am feeling a little too empathetic tonite
5/13/26
i am a scorpio x2 (sun and rising) and am part virgo (moon - i know you were wondering). they say scorpios get jealous. i don’t know if i’m so jealous as mich as i am possessive. i used to think of myself as someone who didn’t feel angry or violent but i do feel angry and violent when i learn about someone who has harmed a precious thing. i think i’ve been able to access rage a lot easier as an adult...
i don’t think i feel satisfied yelling at another person...i’ve never been so much of a yeller as i’ve been a their karma will come sort of person. when it gets to the point that someone is screaming in my face (which doesn’t happen too often), i usually feel bad for both of us. i feel bad that we both are too stubborn or too dumb to resolve the situation. peopleatpeace do not yell. peacefulpeople do not let things get under their skin...
i think rage is sometimes my gasoline. i mean all emotions obviously are. when my ocd was in the worst spiral ever (!) i was completely motivated by pure guilt. i didn’t think i would ever have space in my brain to have any thought other than you are such a bad person. now that i’ve figured a lot of it out (knock on wood & ty CBT), there’s some room for other feelings to move around.
no one in my life has ever made me feel as awful as myownhead...i wonder if the people who feel rage directed @ me would feel happy about that. i wonder if anyone cares about me enough to feel that angry. i think i am supposed to be passionate....so i guess it’s okay. i would never hurt anyone for the sake of it. it would only be in self defense. fuck...i was trying to think of animal/creature that would embody those qualities and i guess that creature is a fucking scorpion. life is predictable! i was born into it. WELL that realization makes sense i guess... because i started writing my thoughts down with the whole scorpion thing in mind... i just forgot what i was writing about once i started writing. whoops (dUMMy)
5/10/26
i like aging
once upon a time
5/06/26
my beautiful grandma
no one is my enemy
i’m exhausted but i’ve gotta animate this pretzel
my foot is burning a bit but it’s good
gotta exercise my love of mythology...
isn’t the act of taking something for granted sort of the best way to not take something for granted? that person/place/thing is so integral to you that become unaware of it’s presence? if you were constantly aware of a thing wouldn’t that sort of mean you don’t love it enough to just let it blend into your life? i’m really hungry and sleepy
my ocd is telling me to take back the nihilism comment. there’s a lot of love in my life
5/05/26
It’s my half birthday I am 29.5
I was trying to show geoff this picture of the bottom of my foot and how i’ve burned it pretty hard with salicylic acid but i scrolled too far & showed them a picture i wish i hadn’t...
5/04/26
@Lindsay remeber when we would go to tropical smoothie after school
i would get the peanut paradise smoothie and the veggie wrap
what is the cure for nihilism
i need to be more intentional with my time
i need to listen to music again
Titus (1999)
studying latin was so romantic
listening to this ryan adams song whoops
taking my own advice
05/03/26
i had frozen yogurt for lunch and now i am thinking too much about my body
i miss my family