beware!
11/10/26
i’m sick and it sucks. took too much tylenol but everyone is telling me that it’s alright. they need to reword the dosage instructions on the pill bottles
it says you can take 2 pills every 6 hours but to not take more than 6 pills in 24 hours. if you take 2 pills every 6 hours that’s 8 pills in 24 hours! and apparently that’s too much! it’s easy to take too much
i am gonna be healthy now. i am going to quit all of my bad habits. my body is MY TEMPLE. i will force myself to eat tofu. i will make my hair grow thick and beautiful. i will call the doctor to make sure my periods aren’t unusually heavy bc apparently that’s a bad sign... i was always kind of proud of them
11/02/26
i always feel such clarity late at night, or at least something that feels like clarity. when i wake up the next morning, i judge that clarity as though i were in a sleepy and pseudo-manic state. that all of those thoughts i had are strange and useless. It doesn’t feel so fair
i am collecting long and magical dresses and it makes me feel like a paper doll. i only buy them if it’s a bargain & that’s basically what makes it all so fun. i don’t have any place to really put them...whatever! i do think it’s sweet to imagine myself as a little kid looking at all of the colors and patterns. i’ve never felt so attached to objects so this is fun for me. or it’s a bad sign maybe
i just caught and released a very freaky spider. i wonder what that spider thought as it touched the sidewalk with all of its little legs. it’s 3am and i should go to bed now. i wonder if i will read this in the future and judge myself. i’m getting better at not doing that. and anyway, i am pleased that i am able to let myself write things down. i shouldn’t have stayed up so late. i have to get on an early flight tuesday morning and needed the sleep tonight
10/26/26
i got the video game
10/22/26
i like how it feels to grow older, but i don’t always love looking into the mirror,
i was sobbing last night while watching endearing instagram clips
trying to be a healthier person. did not have ANY nicotine today. i remember being 19 and smoking a cigarette for the first time in lyon. the person who gave me the cigarette told me that all would be okay if we just make sure to quit by age 30. i guess that’s the rule for some. and one time this beautiful professor told me that her doctor said she would be okay if she smoked less than seven cigarettes a day. i don’t believe that to be true at all...but, she was so beautiful it was almost convincing... when i was 19, 30 felt years and years away and now i am so very close. i’m gonna be better now. i lifted weights with both arms and i even flossed. so much blood came out and i spit it into the kitchen sink instead of the bathroom sink but don’t tell anybody that part
i have these big bags under my eyes and it seems that my face is slowly melting into something else. my top lip is uneven and the gray hairs are climbing higher and higher. i think i need to cut my hair shorter because when it gets long it seems to weigh my hair down....which has the domino effect of making my face look gigantic. some days i feel so secure and some days i am so afraid that i will have a panic attack. i then get scared that i will never be a normal person and that every day of my life will just be fighting this panic feeling off. i am told if i want to get better, that i must ride it out.. and i will say that riding it out sucks....but it does make me feel less on edge/more prepared for the next round. besides the panic, i am grateful and happy. it’s not like when my ocd is telling me that i suck and suck and suck. i think this panic stuff is a result of thinking too much and that i need to buy some sort of video game. i love the sims but the last time i played a bunch of weird voodoo magic was released and every terrible thing that took place in the game happened in real life. so i don’t think i can do that again
10/18/26
visited zach in portland and met my amazing nephew, wallace (he’s a tabby cat)
10/15/26
10/13/26
either an opposum or a cat keeps attacking birds in our yard. it’s pretty horrible to stumble upon a dead crow. i think it’s the opposum, but all signs point to the cat. i’ve seen them both next to the bench in the yard. the opposum just tends to show up before the birds die. ugh
i feel like i should say something for the birds...like..i was here and i saw you live and die
i was here and i saw you live and die
you were real
we lived on the same street
10/07/26
i wrote something sweet about my grandpa but i forgot to click save...
here he is as a dentist in vietnam. he was part of a m.a.s.h. unit &
it messed him up
he’s a good grandpa
10/06/26
14/15 year old memory...
remembering october when it actually got cold
and all of the orange leaves and my grandpa’s sweater and an unpaved street.
stupid combat boots, listening to the shins on wired headphones
learning about roman columns and all of their differences
ionic / doric / corinthian :)
...i’m gonna be 30 in less than 30 days
this stuff reminds me of my besties and charlottesville
i put it on an english muffin this morning
10/02/26
this is my favorite song
When the world is too much with me
Please leave, just go away
when they synth hits during those lyrics, i just feel sooooooccrazy
When the light of life has gone
No change for the meter
Then the king of spivs will come
Selling blood by the litre
When nothing's sacred anymore
When the demon's knocking on your door
You'll still be staring down at the floor
it reminds me of the lyrics in that mgmt song, flash delirium:
Plants, as far as I know are still
Still bending toward the light
And if we dance
Until the heart explodes
It'll make this place ignite
And even if this hall collapses
I can stand by my pillar of hope it's just
A case of Flash delirium
staring at the floor/standing by my pillar of hope
something about those lyrics mixed with the chaotic sounds .... it’s like... feeling so shy while the world is ending
i think i’m feeling some magical feelings
9/28/26
it’s too sunny here i need to see an orange leaf or i’m gonna cry
all of sudden there are three shows coming up
9/25/26
i can’t tell how i feel
9/17/26
when i was very young, I had this barbie that has this beautiful moon costume. she was like the closest thing to religion for me. i thought she was so magical. when i think of her, i think of baskin robbins, old car shows on big grassy fields, my dad’s old warehouse that was next to a wendy’s, and rod stewart.
i’m playing a show on the 14th gonna play some new songs and wear a new dress.
keepgoing1
9/16/26it takes guts to be gentle and kind
9/14/26
9/11/26
happy birtthday grandpa
animation update:
this week i’ve gotta work on song lyrics
9/8/26
i just wrote a halloween jingle it goes like:
Halloween is the best time of the year
Have you ever tried to wish upon a pumpkin
A goblin will appear and give you somethin
Inside his great big layer
Of ghoulish misbehavior
There’s some candy corn flavored love
9/7/26
i have been very sleepy and busy and have been trying to override some bursts of adhd
! making necklaces for fun when i have 30 mins here and there is soothing
life is moving and it feels like i’ve got a good grip, but i don’t have the ability to open up about it on here right now. maybe it’s because i’m too tired...maybe it’s because i don’t wanna speak too soon
my little assistant
8/27/26
the remaining pieces of my songs are flowing out faster now. this will probably make me feel reluctant to return so easily. when it feels good i jinx it.
i watched that docuseries on andy warhol and i felt really sad for him. he seemed like a sad and lonely kid for most of his life and idk, i just wanted to jump in and protect him. he almost even felt like a small puppy... maybe it’s because he felt special to me when i was a kid & discovering my love of color. i didn’t realize he died because of a mistake that the hospital made. the docuseries said that he basically drowned internally :(. i like the way that he seemed to enjoy everyday life. he liked his little biscuits. it’s sweet. i could be more like that.
going to all of his parties would’ve been glamorous but i honestly don’t think i would have gone (multiple times) if given the chance. i just get so overwhelmed socially and when that happens i just kind of wish to be at home & working on my animation. i feel guilty when i’m not productive. he talked about how he felt like living life was just watching tv until he got shot. he didn’t take life for granted and had a mindset that
things could always be worse
there are lots of changes in my life but it feels like change tends to happen more around this time of year. if i were in virginia, i would drive up and down the parkway while listening to big star...but!...i am not in virginia and it just isn’t the same. my mom sold the house. i’m happy that kids are moving in and going to make new memories. i do wonder if this changes how i anchor myself. i just feel that when i close my eyes, i’m still there existing in all of those memories...and it kind of feels like they are enough for me. i’m going to be 30, my sister is getting married. i really feel close to these projects i am working on. i am so often confused by procedure, but if i pause and think about anything for too long...i just end up getting in my own way. so i am gonna keep going and working like i planned. i saw this adhd thread and i took a screenshot of a quote that said “never trust motivation, only trust the system you built for the days you don’t have it”
LOL
i was falling asleep the other day sort of halfway thinking about song lyrics and this popped into my head:
swallow your peace and land upside down in paradise
i might keep going with that
8/25/26
i feel like august 25th is supposed to mean something to me. what am i forgetting?
...
besides the usual self-critique & default thoughts that are about animation and music / being productive in general :/
i am feeling a little bit vapid because i have figured out a new way to do my hair. i’ve always had thin hair, but i’m doing something now that makes it look like full, milk-drinker hair. i’m wondering why i didn’t try this sooner.
fashionista girl
artistically, I’m watching paint dry... but in the form of marker strokes, and i can’t help but drive myself crazy over each one. i’m supposed to let it go and literally look at the bigger picture, but ffffffffff i can’t stop obsessing over these strokes. i’m adjusting the frame rate and cropping in...i’m doing all of the things....
and sometimesss...unrelated...but...
sometimes i feel as though someone has misjudged me.... and it makes me feel, sad..?... but going around and drawing attention to it would probably seem really weird. so i guess i would rather them just think that i am The Worst or something.
cannot take for granted how nice it is to be able to feel frustrated by everyday annoyances
i’m judging myself for being really excited to get a new dress. los angeles is *making me* materialistic. ugh
i guess *has made me* makes more sense :/
8/21/26
i wish i had more time to work on my own art and music
someone tell me that i am doing the right thing
8/16/26
don’t give unsolicited advice!
am i missing something?
8/14/26
not my usual style but i had an idea i wanted to try out and.. it’s fun to create a puppet! [[[she isn’t finished yet]]].
i am proud of myself for getting better at this medium. i couldn’t have done this a few years ago. i feel really grateful to have always loved making things. it’s so fun still after 30 (29) years. i’m able to get into a daze and i just feel like a kid again. not sure that anything else in the world makes me feel this way. i want everyone to have this...even my enemies! bro
8/11/26
i’m so affected by this song
8/10/26
daydreaming of virginia
when it’s late august & early september
♪
8/09/26
i am happy for my friends when they feel happy. i’m happy for the ppl that aren’t my friends as well
i broke the camera on my phone
i went to a baby shower and got the baby a little john lennon shirt. the shirt is kind of malibu mom vibe... we wrote in the baby book and took a pic with the polaroid camera. it’s weird to see yourself included in something that will one day become a time capsule
i’ve been working on my animation this weekend. i’m going through the highs and lows:
this looks awesome/wow, how could u think this was ever going to look good
& i’m kind of running out of money. but i have what i need and #creditcard
8/06/26
note to self: an ushanka and a corset made of seashells
8/05/26
so healthy to check ur own ego. i like myself so much better when i do it
i’m excited to dive into these songs...
it’s all feeling fun again
sometimes i’m jealous of the wholesome summer camp experience
i just never really wanted to be at summer camp
8/04/26
milking a cow but it’s not milking a cow it’s making urself sit with a feeling until u have no choice but 2 squeeze it out
also, <3 my sister is getting married <3
i put the amnesty international bumper sticker on my car
8/01/26
i have ten songs for an album and about 15 new pieces of paper to scan.
it’s a #marathon, corrinne
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kDirLkLp10&list=RD2kDirLkLp10&start_radio=1
7/30/26
for the first time in soooooo long i’m able to listen to music the way i used to be able to
&
watching all of these pretty little recordings of people playing their songs makes me feel all peace and love inside
i’m almost 30 and i think i’m finally earning that letting things go actually can make you feel one thousand times lighter
,..also the NAC supplements may be kicking in
(or my new dose of prozac)
momma mia!
7/29/26
i like the idea that we are all just little timekeepers. that we are here to experience, record, reflect & share
paper stacks
7/27/26
the world feels so small today ...it actually might make me sick.
and unrelated,
i’ve been watching a 10 hour video of a mouse crawling in & out of a hole...
right after i took this picture, timothee chalamet walked down the street and brandon tried to pimp me out. i was flattered. i was sooooo flattered
i’m gonna be less of a psychopath soon. going up on my meds and starting to take this amino acid (legit rec from my pyschiatrist) that ppl take to treat OCD
i want everyone to be happy. i promise i’m not evil... i just make mistakes sometimes...
i love when billy corgan sings that lyric in tonight, tonight:
believe in me, like i believe in you
7/23/36 part 2
i wish i could build chairs and i wish i could fix computers
2007
they really wrecked the street. good luck finding ur way home
7/23/36 part 1
i’m obsessed with strange days..... grungecamp
i’m trying to spend less time on the apps so i’m filling in the scroll gaps with ancestry.com. i don’t think we are supposed to really know who are ancestors are. i think the void of it all makes it more mysterious? That feels like the wrong word. too simple
wrote another song last night - 7 now
also outlining my frames. i’m on number 36
...of one million likely
7/22/26
i just had a psychedelic experience while eating a purple jolly rancher
7/20/26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zorBEyIl7rw
7/17/26
today i became an amnesty international member. these guys stopped me on the street and 15 minutes later i signed up for monthly donations. they were nice and i am a good target. it’s a good cause and i can afford $30 every month. after i had My Big Panic Attack i felt really tiny and scared and maybe it’s a selfish reason, but my body was like, maybe you should devote some of your resources to caring about anything other than yourself. I was only gonna sign up for $20 but then the guy said he needed to get $30 by the end of the day. i probably shouldn’t reveal that part.
7/15/26
i got those little tack things that act as hinges and made a puppet. she’s a mermaid made out of construction paper. i put magnets on her back and stuck her to the fridge. watching the magnets weigh her down made me feel sad...she was all slumped over
i feel like some lost part of me is coming up for air and she’s like, “can we just make something for fun?”
i hate when people say “dumb as rocks”
if anything we should compliment people and say “that person is as patient as a rock”
this is a real review i just saw for a pair of sandals:
7/14/26
for the sake of my story i am going to have to rhyme fish tank with instinct
i need to keep more secrets 2 myself
today i want to be a kid in elementary school at the book fair
7/13/26
weekend color/shading test:
7/10/26
friday
i’m gonna go to the cold war museum tomorrow. apparently there’s a beautiful little garden.
i am most excited to go and read all of the plaques
7/7/26
los angeles may be wearing me out. the sunshine everyday is making me feel like i’m trapped in a video game. it’s like everyday the game is restarting. i think i need some space and some rain. la is a fun place to be happy but maybe a very miserable place to be depressed
i’ve got a good amount of songs for my album now
i’ve gotta add a mermaid into my short somehow
7/6/26
i’m reading breakfast of champions by kurt vonnegut
i used to live below his daughter. in kurt cobain’s old apartment...randomly
photos of them in the apartment. the room in the top pic was my bedroom. we also randomly put baby heads on the mantle and didn’t know that they did as well until we found this pic
7/5/26
i just wanna
7/4/26
i forget....do we count down on the fourth?
6/30/26 - Afternoon
it’s gonna be ok things are good life is silly. i do easily get carried away
6/30/26 - Morning
hello again journal
6/15/26
6/14/26
feeling:
grateful
melancholic
reminiscent
hungry
and for some reason or no reason at all, my feelings are hurt
[i’m gonna start using my markers again soon, hopefully this week. yes!]
it’s so easy to take feeling steady for granted
this week i am going to practice restraint
6/13/26
it’s okay that my animation is going to take me a long time.
it’s okay that my animation is going to take me a long time.
it’s okay that my animation is going to take me a long time.
it’s okay that my animation is going to take me a long time.
xxxxxxxxxx
in the era of content a picture is no longer worth 1,000 words. ok!
i feel sick / time to sleep
6/9/26
123 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 456
789 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 101112
i got three yahtzees in one game
all is not lost all is...all is jumpled up into a smoothie or a face cream. i’m not sure what the vehicle is, but the consistency is mush
i want to be in a world like this but i want the vibe to be CCR. before i went to uva, i imagined something of the sort..but..it wasn’t quite that
manet - music in the tuileries
maybe i should change things up, start a CCR cover band & play a bunch of weddings. one of my north stars...chasing the gut feeling that scene would provide. chasing it, finding it, & getting stomach surgery to remove it. 4ever placing it within a jar in a basement...or maybe it needs to stay frozen? ok!
what’s up with that?
my sister found these old pictures of my mom and geez she is such a beautiful lady. it’s funny to know you’ll never be as pretty as your mom was. i’m not saying i don’t think i am pretty or anything....it’s just my mother was sooooooooooooooo beautiful
i read her middle school yearbook once and it was...intense
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3
i am a mother too!
i luv my babes
6/8/26
i saw paul simon and now i just wanna singgggggggg
also! i’m ravenous. sooooooo very hungry ...i just need to eat a sandwich or some velveeta shells and cheese. yumyumyum
6/2/26
｡☆｡ hiiiiiii ｡☆｡
6/1/26
uh oh i am really starting to isolate myself again...
routine is comforting but it’s also a bit depressing
i want to buy all of these beautiful dresses but i have a bad habit of wearing something once and then forgetting about it forever
working on this spin...i accidentally deleted a frame so it’s a little crazy. it will be drawn with marker. in the past i’ve drawn straight onto paper without planning so much....but...! i am being a perfectionist and there’s a story here that needs to make sense. i have to prove to myself that it makes sense! taking my time and double checking makes me wanna invest more time into myself. idk animation takes so long. seeing progress is important.
this will be the final texture:
5/30/26
had a strawberry margarita today and now i’ve got a headache </3
the amount of content that i ingest every day makes me feel like a tiny tiny tiny little grain of sand at the bottom of a giant trench
i used to think the ocean was fun but now it really freaks me out. i’ve watched too many episodes of i shouldn’t be alive
5/28/26
the laughing woman (1969)5/25/26
i want to go on a ghost tour!
there’s no depth here. i am so shallow nowadays
i came back home to my childhood home to sleep in my bedroom one more time. i don’t think i am gonna sleep in it tho
i will sit on the bed and i will look out of each window
sometimes i’m like...whathappened to me
5/24/26
i wish we could go back to bartering. i never lived it tho, maybe i’m wrong. there’s just a lot of ways to be rewarded that aren’t only cashmoney. i think that having a mentor is pretty priceless. rewarding someone with knowledge of a craft is pretty special. it makes everything feel a bit more purposeful.
happy bday sophie i love u so much
5/21/26
the results came back from my big procedure and it turns out that the acid in my stomach is tearing up the all of the stomach lining, owwwwch... it makes sense as i am always gurgling and twisting up in there. i’m supposed to stay away from all of my favorite foods :(. luckily, there’s nothing much else going on inside. i was worried for a second...
my neighbor across the street is starting to creep me out. he stood over my car while i was parking in a way that was almost too inspired by a horror movie.., ya, he stood over me until i noticed his shadow / gasped a lil. i tried to do a background search but there was a paywall. i guess in a way that sort of made me happy bc ! people are entitled to their privacy ! but ya i never tried that until yesterday. (also keep in mind i had to move out of my last two spots because 1. i caught a guy in my window & 2. another guy was opening all of my mail)... ok
and then... and then
..........
i want to write more but i am honestly tired and frustrated (for other reasons). i’m sad that my new diet might have to be made up of only ritz crackers when all i really wanna do is eat baja fresh. people have it worse than i do. imagine fighting in the trenches in ww2... i’m just a vapid betch complaining about eating crackers. waaaaaa. ok goodnite
&
take to me 2 bajallah!
5/20/26
i had to pick up my meds from target and realized while walking around the bikini aisle that i was reallyreallyhungry. i decided to eat at the panera in the strip mall. LA can’t change me.
i got a full grilled cheese and a side of tomato soup. not half a sandwich and a soup. i walked back into my car and looked at the trash on the floor and thought
god corrinne u are such a mess
then i felt nostalgic for my dad and the mess in his car. and then my mom and the mess in hers....don’t even get me started on my sister. i love that i grew up going to strip mall paneras and that i have a messy car. i love hitting my vape! screw it
5/19/26
it’s silly how quickly time zooms around
5/18/26
i had a procedure today and three people counted down from ten
as the anesthesia watercolored itself into my vein.
anesthesia, the lost princess
about five seconds in, i hummed *i’m still here* and as soon as i realized i was only making dumb jokes for myself...i passed out <3. before they put me under, the anesthesiologist told me i might feel a spicy pain in my hand. he described it as a tingly hot sauce feeling. i was like ok...cool...that doesn’t sound too bad.
right as i was drifting tho, i felt this terrible ache in my hand.
i definitley said out loud,
“this doesn’t feel like hot sauce...this feels lke someone is squishing my hand with a brick” :/
howthehell did they come up with hot sauce?!!!
once, when i was walking on the lawn at uva, a brick fell on my head. the construction guys were really apologetic about it. i didn’t wanna make a big deal. it also didn’t hurt as much as a you think it would. i was more shocked than i was like, owowowowowow. the same year tho, while living in my favorite house ever, a wine bottle fell off of the fridge - hit my head - and then jumped from my head to ground like a bouncy ball. i usually have a high pain tolerance, but it literally hurt so bad i started to cry. i ended up with a violent migraine...worst concussion of my life....
my sister would get these terrible migraines as a kid and only once i had my terrible wine crash, did i really kind of understand what she was actually going through. i felt badly for not empathizing with her more. throwing up because you are in pain sucks. it just doesn’t really make any sense! of course i only understood that once it happened to me! i’m a selfish bitch bro
5/16/26
everything nowadays is irony poisoned. it feels like sincerity is banned.
i went to the tokidoki warehouse sale felt hopeful(?)
i was so excited to get all of these little tokidoki blindboxes + merch.. and all of the people around me were excited for the same reason. i guess the community element felt really nice?
i think i get comic con now (<3) even tho it’s not my thing (i won’t yuck your yum)
recently....i went to coachellaaaaaaa for the first time and was pleasently suprised at how much fun i had burning outside at the campsite....just sitting and watching other people do the same thing...i’malittleantisocial, but i think i’m yearning for real life and community in a way that seems somewhat inaccessible. at least for a person who has been on social media for more than half of her life... that’s fucked up!
listening to blue and i’m feeling like i’m fifteen again!
i miss you alexandriavirginia. i will see you soon
i’m working on my animation btw - it’s just taking me so long bc i’m doing it alll by hand..........
i would rather put my heartandsoul into one thing that takes foreverrrrr i think. but who knows
5/14/26
happy bday to my beautiful best friend liza
i am one or two margaritas deep but i am feeling a little too empathetic tonite
5/10/26
i like aging
once upon a time
5/06/26
my beautiful grandma
no one is my enemy
i’m exhausted but i’ve gotta animate this pretzel
my foot is burning a bit but it’s good
gotta exercise my love of mythology...
isn’t the act of taking something for granted sort of the best way to not take something for granted? that person/place/thing is so integral to you that become unaware of it’s presence? if you were constantly aware of a thing wouldn’t that sort of mean you don’t love it enough to just let it blend into your life? i’m really hungry and sleepy
my ocd is telling me to take back the nihilism comment. there’s a lot of love in my life
5/05/26
It’s my half birthday I am 29.5
I was trying to show geoff this picture of the bottom of my foot and how i’ve burned it pretty hard with salicylic acid but i scrolled too far & showed them a picture i wish i hadn’t...
5/04/26
@Lindsay remeber when we would go to tropical smoothie after school
i would get the peanut paradise smoothie and the veggie wrap
what is the cure for nihilism
i need to be more intentional with my time
i need to listen to music again
Titus (1999)
studying latin was so romantic
listening to this ryan adams song whoops
taking my own advice
05/03/26
i had frozen yogurt for lunch and now i am thinking too much about my body
i miss my family