beware!
6/14/26
feeling:
grateful
melancholic
reminiscent
hungry
and for some reason or no reason at all, my feelings are hurt
[i’m gonna start using my markers again soon, hopefully this week. yes!]
it’s so easy to take feeling steady for granted
this week i am going to practice restraint
6/13/26
i am the queen of red wine. get off your high horse rosie
the algorithm is trying to make me anorexic. i keep getting served all of these eating disorder tweets. apparently in the land of edtwt (which i’ve never subscribed to), i am not skinny enough...it’s weird because i’m definitley skinny. i’m not like model skinny, and i’ve definitely gained a bit of weight since moving to LA...but, ya i’m still skinny. it’s pissing me off. if i lost 10 pounds i would have no boobs and yeah sure my jaw line might look a lot sleeker but my head might also look huge. i am already convinced it’s huge anyway.
it’s okay that my animation is going to take me a long time.
it’s okay that my animation is going to take me a long time.
it’s okay that my animation is going to take me a long time.
it’s okay that my animation is going to take me a long time.
xxxxxxxxxx
in the era of content a picture is no longer worth 1,000 words. ok!
i feel sick / time to sleep
6/9/26
123 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 456
789 <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 101112
i got three yahtzees in one game
all is not lost all is...all is jumpled up into a smoothie or a face cream. i’m not sure what the vehicle is, but the consistency is mush
i want to be in a world like this but i want the vibe to be CCR. before i went to uva, i imagined something of the sort..but..it wasn’t quite that
manet - music in the tuileries
maybe i should change things up, start a CCR cover band & play a bunch of weddings. one of my north stars...chasing the gut feeling that scene would provide. chasing it, finding it, & getting stomach surgery to remove it. 4ever placing it within a jar in a basement...or maybe it needs to stay frozen? ok!
what’s up with that?
my sister found these old pictures of my mom and geez she is such a beautiful lady. it’s funny to know you’ll never be as pretty as your mom was. i’m not saying i don’t think i am pretty or anything....it’s just my mother was sooooooooooooooo beautiful
i read her middle school yearbook once and it was...intense
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3
i am a mother too!
i luv my babes
6/8/26
i saw paul simon and now i just wanna singgggggggg
it doesn’t feel like jeff buckley lived in the 90s, it kind of feels like he never lived in the world at all
also! i’m ravenous. sooooooo very hungry ...i just need to eat a sandwich or some velveeta shells and cheese. yumyumyum
6/6/26
sometimes I stay up late and play the guitar. i play a lot of the songs that my dad used to play for us as lil kids. it’s such a nice feeling to play those songs in california. i feel like i am in the same room as my family and that i’m still a kid. it’s like we are all in bethany beach. NO! it’s like we are all in the car driving home from bethany...stopping at the farmer’s market. lindsay’s got a ton of honey stix and my dad her are obsessing over the peaches. i walk along the side and pet the goats. i don’t know where zach is...?
i memorized all of the farms on the three hour drive home from delaware. there’s a terrible section on that drive that smells rancid -- i think they are slaughtering chickens. i never asked. the beach is for swedish fish and divorced dads. it’s for getting snow cones and going to the arcade. there’s a five guys and a baja fresh and the ritual is vacuuming a mix of sand and pixie stick dust from the carpet on our way out. when was the last time we all were there together?
i feel guilty for growing up.
6/5/26
i have been a little stir crazy this week but i’ve also been very productive. is that the trade-off?
i’m watching that show, the man in the high castle. I am kind of obsessed with the sweet and nerdy boyfriend. he is wearing a leather jacket in the latest episode i watched and i’m like, woah, cute nerd vibe + leather jacket is like.....hot! but you’ve gotta actually be authentically nerdy. i think you can only get away with a leather jacket like that. if ur not nerdy it’s like...a lil too much...a lil fratty? berlin frat?
most attractive scenario: a really sweet cutie happens to inherit their grandpa’s old leather jacket.
they wear it because it’s what will keep them warm.
i guess this is my hot take, you can’t go out there searching for it. it must come 2 u.
6/2/26
｡☆｡ hiiiiiii ｡☆｡
6/1/26
uh oh i am really starting to isolate myself again...
routine is comforting but it’s also a bit depressing
i want to buy all of these beautiful dresses but i have a bad habit of wearing something once and then forgetting about it forever
working on this spin...i accidentally deleted a frame so it’s a little crazy. it will be drawn with marker. in the past i’ve drawn straight onto paper without planning so much....but...! i am being a perfectionist and there’s a story here that needs to make sense. i have to prove to myself that it makes sense! taking my time and double checking makes me wanna invest more time into myself. idk animation takes so long. seeing progress is important.
this will be the final texture:
5/30/26
had a strawberry margarita today and now i’ve got a headache </3
the amount of content that i ingest every day makes me feel like a tiny tiny tiny little grain of sand at the bottom of a giant trench
i used to think the ocean was fun but now it really freaks me out. i’ve watched too many episodes of i shouldn’t be alive
5/28/26
the laughing woman (1969)5/26/26
i had a very sweet, final-ish day in my childhood home. the realtor my mom is working with asked my mom to remove all of the dumb shit i wrote on my chalkboard wall (as a 7th grader) & replace it with something nice. so ofc she made me draw a mural that was never going to be any theme othert than ocean
the thing is....my parents aren’t together, so when we do things together it feels v special. i started to draw these coral reefs and then my dad came over and i asked him to draw some kelp. a little bit later, my mom came in and started to draw some bubbles. something that was cute but also sad: my parents were really hesitant to add anything to the mural. they both kept saying, “we can’t draw like you,” and putting themselves down. i’m just wondering at what point these ppl - who knew so much about line and shape and composition (more than i ever thought i could know) - decided that they weren’t any good anymore? my parents have always been such creative people. they used to get so carried away at the arts and crafts table. i’m happy that they believe in me.
i keep taking my little luka outside to play fetch, and today his red ball got stuck at the bottom of the pool. as the net i was using to retrieve his ball scraped the underwater tile, i got a nostalgia meteor shower blast to the gut. some memories roll over and replace as u get older..the street you drive down to have ur first piano lesson turns into the street u get ur boobs touched for the first time.
BUTttttttttttt
drawing shapes out of dust in the bottom of the pool is only something i did when i was seven and it’s such a magical & perfect memory. glimpses of those feelings are what i’m scared to lose.
5/25/26
i want to go on a ghost tour!
there’s no depth here. i am so shallow nowadays
i came back home to my childhood home to sleep in my bedroom one more time. i don’t think i am gonna sleep in it tho
i will sit on the bed and i will look out of each window
sometimes i’m like...whathappened to me
5/24/26
i wish we could go back to bartering. i never lived it tho, maybe i’m wrong. there’s just a lot of ways to be rewarded that aren’t only cashmoney. i think that having a mentor is pretty priceless. rewarding someone with knowledge of a craft is pretty special. it makes everything feel a bit more purposeful.
happy bday sophie i love u so much
5/21/26
the results came back from my big procedure and it turns out that the acid in my stomach is tearing up the all of the stomach lining, owwwwch... it makes sense as i am always gurgling and twisting up in there. i’m supposed to stay away from all of my favorite foods :(. luckily, there’s nothing much else going on inside. i was worried for a second...
my neighbor across the street is starting to creep me out. he stood over my car while i was parking in a way that was almost too inspired by a horror movie.., ya, he stood over me until i noticed his shadow / gasped a lil. i tried to do a background search but there was a paywall. i guess in a way that sort of made me happy bc ! people are entitled to their privacy ! but ya i never tried that until yesterday. (also keep in mind i had to move out of my last two spots because 1. i caught a guy in my window & 2. another guy was opening all of my mail)... ok
and then... and then
..........
i want to write more but i am honestly tired and frustrated (for other reasons). i’m sad that my new diet might have to be made up of only ritz crackers when all i really wanna do is eat baja fresh. people have it worse than i do. imagine fighting in the trenches in ww2... i’m just a vapid betch complaining about eating crackers. waaaaaa. ok goodnite
&
take to me 2 bajallah!
5/20/26
i had to pick up my meds from target and realized while walking around the bikini aisle that i was reallyreallyhungry. i decided to eat at the panera in the strip mall. LA can’t change me.
i got a full grilled cheese and a side of tomato soup. not half a sandwich and a soup. i walked back into my car and looked at the trash on the floor and thought
god corrinne u are such a mess
then i felt nostalgic for my dad and the mess in his car. and then my mom and the mess in hers....don’t even get me started on my sister. i love that i grew up going to strip mall paneras and that i have a messy car. i love hitting my vape! screw it
5/19/26
it’s silly how quickly time zooms around
5/18/26
i had a procedure today and three people counted down from ten
as the anesthesia watercolored itself into my vein.
anesthesia, the lost princess
about five seconds in, i hummed *i’m still here* and as soon as i realized i was only making dumb jokes for myself...i passed out <3. before they put me under, the anesthesiologist told me i might feel a spicy pain in my hand. he described it as a tingly hot sauce feeling. i was like ok...cool...that doesn’t sound too bad.
right as i was drifting tho, i felt this terrible ache in my hand.
i definitley said out loud,
“this doesn’t feel like hot sauce...this feels lke someone is squishing my hand with a brick” :/
howthehell did they come up with hot sauce?!!!
once, when i was walking on the lawn at uva, a brick fell on my head. the construction guys were really apologetic about it. i didn’t wanna make a big deal. it also didn’t hurt as much as a you think it would. i was more shocked than i was like, owowowowowow. the same year tho, while living in my favorite house ever, a wine bottle fell off of the fridge - hit my head - and then jumped from my head to ground like a bouncy ball. i usually have a high pain tolerance, but it literally hurt so bad i started to cry. i ended up with a violent migraine...worst concussion of my life....
my sister would get these terrible migraines as a kid and only once i had my terrible wine crash, did i really kind of understand what she was actually going through. i felt badly for not empathizing with her more. throwing up because you are in pain sucks. it just doesn’t really make any sense! of course i only understood that once it happened to me! i’m a selfish bitch bro
5/16/26
everything nowadays is irony poisoned. it feels like sincerity is banned.
i went to the tokidoki warehouse sale felt hopeful(?)
i was so excited to get all of these little tokidoki blindboxes + merch.. and all of the people around me were excited for the same reason. i guess the community element felt really nice?
i think i get comic con now (<3) even tho it’s not my thing (i won’t yuck your yum)
recently....i went to coachellaaaaaaa for the first time and was pleasently suprised at how much fun i had burning outside at the campsite....just sitting and watching other people do the same thing...i’malittleantisocial, but i think i’m yearning for real life and community in a way that seems somewhat inaccessible. at least for a person who has been on social media for more than half of her life... that’s fucked up!
listening to blue and i’m feeling like i’m fifteen again!
i miss you alexandriavirginia. i will see you soon
i’m working on my animation btw - it’s just taking me so long bc i’m doing it alll by hand..........
i would rather put my heartandsoul into one thing that takes foreverrrrr i think. but who knows
5/14/26
happy bday to my beautiful best friend liza
i am one or two margaritas deep but i am feeling a little too empathetic tonite
5/13/26
i am a scorpio x2 (sun and rising) and am part virgo (moon - i know you were wondering). they say scorpios get jealous. i don’t know if i’m so jealous as mich as i am possessive. i used to think of myself as someone who didn’t feel angry or violent but i do feel angry and violent when i learn about someone who has harmed a precious thing. i think i’ve been able to access rage a lot easier as an adult...
i don’t think i feel satisfied yelling at another person...i’ve never been so much of a yeller as i’ve been more of a their karma will come sort of person. when it gets to the point that someone is screaming in my face (which doesn’t happen too often), i usually feel bad for both of us. i feel bad that we both are too stubborn or too dumb to resolve the situation. peopleatpeace do not yell. peacefulpeople do not let things get under their skin...
i think rage is sometimes my gasoline. i mean all emotions obviously are. when my ocd was in the worst spiral ever (!) i was completely motivated by pure guilt. i didn’t think i would ever have space in my brain to have any thought other than you are such a bad person. now that i’ve figured a lot of it out (knock on wood & ty CBT), there’s some room for other feelings to move around.
no one in my life has ever made me feel as awful as myownhead...i wonder if the people who feel rage directed @ me would feel happy about that. i wonder if anyone cares about me enough to feel that angry. i think i am supposed to be passionate....so i guess it’s okay. i would never hurt anyone for the sake of it. it would only be in self defense. fuck...i was trying to think of animal/creature that would embody those qualities and i guess that creature is a fucking scorpion. life is predictable! i was born into it. WELL that realization makes sense i guess... because i started writing my thoughts down with the whole scorpion thing in mind... i just forgot what i was writing about once i started writing. whoops (dUMMy)
5/10/26
i like aging
once upon a time
5/06/26
my beautiful grandma
no one is my enemy
i’m exhausted but i’ve gotta animate this pretzel
my foot is burning a bit but it’s good
gotta exercise my love of mythology...
isn’t the act of taking something for granted sort of the best way to not take something for granted? that person/place/thing is so integral to you that become unaware of it’s presence? if you were constantly aware of a thing wouldn’t that sort of mean you don’t love it enough to just let it blend into your life? i’m really hungry and sleepy
my ocd is telling me to take back the nihilism comment. there’s a lot of love in my life
5/05/26
It’s my half birthday I am 29.5
I was trying to show geoff this picture of the bottom of my foot and how i’ve burned it pretty hard with salicylic acid but i scrolled too far & showed them a picture i wish i hadn’t...
5/04/26
@Lindsay remeber when we would go to tropical smoothie after school
i would get the peanut paradise smoothie and the veggie wrap
what is the cure for nihilism
i need to be more intentional with my time
i need to listen to music again
Titus (1999)
studying latin was so romantic
listening to this ryan adams song whoops
taking my own advice
05/03/26
i had frozen yogurt for lunch and now i am thinking too much about my body
i miss my family